our ND journey

Leaning into the unknown - how saying “yes” reshaped my life

May 8, 2025

Steve Whiteley

Read time 6 mins

At the start of 2023, I was struggling. I’d recently come out of a long-term relationship, burned out from years in the entertainment industry where I’d been masking my ADHD and felt completely lost. Anxiety and depression had taken hold, and I knew something needed to change and that something, or more specifically someone, was me!

Then one day a friend invited me to a breathwork session. I had no expectations, but what happened next cracked something open in me. I had a huge emotional release and left feeling lighter and calmer than I had in a long time.

So of course, my ADHD brain kicked into hyperfocus mode. Within weeks, I’d flown to the other side of the world - Bali, to be precise - to train as a breathwork coach. It might have looked impulsive from the outside, but to me, it was the start of my experiment in leaning into the unknown.

Breathwork, ADHD, and nervous system regulation

During my training, I began to understand the link between shallow breathing, anxiety and ADHD symptoms. Breathwork became more than a wellness practice; it was a tool to regulate my nervous system. For the first time, I wasn’t just surviving. I was thriving, baby!

And I started wondering: if breathwork could help me, maybe it could help other people with busy brains.

And that’s when the annoying inner critic kicked in: "What if I fail? What will people think? No one will take a comedian-turned-breathwork-coach seriously!”

But instead of spiralling into overthinking, I tried something new. I said “yes”.

In February 2024, I launched Breathe With ADHD, and that one decision became a turning point. Saying “yes” became my mantra - not just to work opportunities, but to rest, challenge and change. It wasn't always smooth, but it transformed how I saw myself and my relationship to my ADHD.

Small steps into big shifts

People often talk about big, dramatic moments of transformation. Mine was slower. Change came one small “yes” at a time.

After launching Breathe With ADHD, I moved from London to Brighton, then packed up again for three months in LA, where I ran breathwork and ice bath workshops.

Since then, I’ve:

• Run regular workshops in Brighton and London

• Attended a 10-day Vipassana silent retreat (and became zen AF!)

• Led breathwork sessions for Netflix (no, I didn’t get a free subscription)

And the journey into the unknown continues. In August 2025, I’ll be performing my solo show A Mind Full at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival, it’s the story of how I went from chasing dopamine and dreams to moving into a Mens’ Buddhist community, and finally becoming a breathwork coach. And in September, I’ll be running my first retreat in Portugal, designed specifically for fellow ADHDers looking to reconnect, regulate and reset.

If you’d asked me a couple of years ago whether I’d be doing any of this, I’d have laughed. Loudly. And I’m not usually one to laugh at my own jokes.

Of course, there are still days I question my sanity, and catastrophise that everything will fall apart, but the difference now is that I have tools to ground myself. Breathwork, mindfulness and lots of LOLs. They bring me back to the present moment, again and again.

What saying “yes” taught me

1. Yes helped me trust my instincts

With ADHD, it’s easy to second-guess every decision. Saying “yes” helped me tune into my intuition and take action before fear could talk me out of it.

2. Yes created connection

Some of my favourite moments have come from connecting with others, from attending retreats I was nervous about, running workshops, to sharing my story on Substack. Saying yes invited in community.

3. Yes pushed me out of my comfort zone

From starting a business to moving cities, every “yes” stretched me. I learned to let go of perfectionism and be OK with discomfort.

4. Yes didn’t always work out and that’s OK

Some decisions led to burnout or overwhelm. But even those taught me when to pause and recharge. Saying yes helped me build resilience.

Practical takeaways

Start small. You don’t have to say yes to everything. Pick one thing that feels meaningful, whether it be a project, a hobby, or an event. Track how it feels and build from there.

Check in with yourself. Before saying yes, take a deep breath. Try box breathing or the 6-7-8 technique to calm your nervous system. Then ask, “Do I have the bandwidth for this?”

Say no to protect your yes.

Every time you say no to something that drains you, you create space to say yes to something that nourishes you. Boundaries are self-care.

Celebrate your wins. Every time you say yes to something aligned with your values, even if it’s tiny, pause and acknowledge it. That’s how confidence grows.

Reflecting on a year of “yes”

Looking back, 2024 became the year I learned to embrace uncertainty. Saying “yes” didn’t make my ADHD disappear, but it taught me how to work with it, instead of constantly fighting it.

It also made me realise how much my environment impacts my symptoms. Some spaces made me feel scattered; others helped me feel grounded. And that awareness has changed how I design my life.

I’ve come to accept that my brain works differently. I’m no longer trying to fix it; I’m learning to honour it.

Saying yes has helped me lean into a more authentic version of myself - curious, creative and a little chaotic. But finally, me.

Author - Steve Whiteley

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