This Blog Almost Didn’t Happen (Because: ADHD and Also, Me)
Read time 4 mins
Hi! I’m Nicole… Yes, that “Nicole from Netflix’s Love Is Blind UK.” And this blog? It almost didn’t happen. Not because I didn’t want to write it (I did! I do!)... but because I have ADHD, and starting things feels like trying to open a tin of beans with a toothbrush. Possible? Maybe. Efficient? Absolutely not.
Motivation? I don’t always recognise her…
Here’s how it usually goes: I wake up, sip my beloved decaf green tea morning energiser (because caffeine and I are on a prolonged complicated break), take a deep breath, look at my to-do list… and promptly spend 40 minutes reorganising my day by emotional vibe. One minute I’m “a woman with a mission,” the next I’m asking, “Wait, where did I leave my socks again?” while simultaneously Googling whether otters hold hands when they sleep. (They do. You’re welcome.) Writing this blog has technically been in progress longer than Benaiah’s been pretending he doesn’t prefer my decaf iced lattes over his flat white. (He 100% does. I see him eyeing it every time we place an order. Don’t think I don’t notice, babe. 😂)
ADHD: “The invisible puppet master”
People often think ADHD means I’m just quirky or forgetful. Which, okay… fair. I do lose my phone while I’m talking on it. But the reality is a bit messier. It’s more like my brain is a browser with 37 tabs open, four playing music, and one definitely buffering. And the tab that’s supposed to be writing this blog? Frozen. Possibly crashed. Possibly now hosting a spontaneous mental slideshow of every cringey thing I’ve ever said in Year 9.
The blog was right there. I could see it. I just… couldn’t start.
Cue dramatic internal monologue:
“Nicole, you literally work in B2B Marketing. You can write a blog.”
“Shhh, I need to colour-code my calendar for the fifth time this week.”
“But deadlines!”
“But what if I make lentil curry instead of a roast tonight?”
You see the issue.
Meanwhile, Benaiah is just… Functioning?
Let’s take a moment for my husband, Benaiah. King of structure. Human spreadsheet. The man can just… do things. One minute he’s folding laundry, the next he’s built a shelving unit, taken a phone call, and submitted a proposal… All before I’ve even chosen the right playlist to get me in the zone. (For the record, binaural beats = magic. Who knew? My brain did. Apparently it just needed the right frequency.)
He’s my rock. My anchor. My “babe, have you drunk water today?” person. Which is lucky, because otherwise I’d be surviving solely on decaf iced lattes and chaotic energy.
How I finally wrote this
I adore you.
Whether you’re ADHD, neurotypical, somewhere in between, or just here because you saw “Nicole wrote a blog? Let’s goooo”. Welcome. You are very much my people.
Some days, starting feels impossible. Even the smallest task can feel weirdly heavy. But sometimes, you start anyway. Maybe not perfectly. Maybe in your dressing gown. Maybe with a lukewarm tea you forgot was made and a brain still halfway through planning what to have for dinner.
But you start. And that’s the win. That’s the bit worth celebrating.
I used to think I had to “fix” this part of me… The chaotic start-stopper, the queen of good intentions and half-finished notes. But actually, I’m learning to laugh with her. To work with her. To realise that starting late is still starting, and doing it my way is still getting it done.
So, if this made you feel seen, or at least mildly entertained, I’m glad. And if you’re also staring at your to-do list wondering how long you can avoid replying to that one email: I see you. You’re not alone.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to do three other things I forgot I committed to, probably in my PJs, with Benaiah in the background asking, “Nicole, did you actually hit ‘publish’ or just think about it really hard?”
…Oops. BRB.
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